Here we go again.

If you have followed my blog for a while, you might remember when I was about to lose my mind from lack of sleep with DD2.

Well, we're there again. This time with my darling 7 month old, DD3. As I type, she is in her bed screaming. Because I am about to lose my mind.

It is getting pretty bad. I taught a lesson in church yesterday, and although I'm relieved to have made it through the lesson, I was so exhausted that during the discussion I could hardly pay attention. Did I mention that I was giving the lesson? Don't tell anyone, but during parts of the discussion I was totally zoned out. I tried so hard to focus, and just couldn't. At the beginning of the lesson, I even sang in a trio. I started each verse on the wrong note and messed up the words.

My brain is not functioning too well. My head is constantly hurting. My body is physically exhausted.

So she is "crying it out." Call me what you will. Heartless, abusive (yes I have heard those analogies lately describing the kind of parent I have become.) But something's got to give.

I think she'll be ok.

Sleep training days 3-6

She's sleeping through the night!! Yahoo! I've realized that one key is trying to keep her schedule consistent. She doesn't necessarily nap at the exact same time every day, but she's pretty good at waking up at the same time each day, so that helps!

To summarize, B.G. basically cried 20-30 minutes the last few nights.

On Friday night I brought her to my bed about midnight, but she didn't nurse, and she didn't wake up again to nurse until 6:30! That was pretty awesome!

Last night She cried for less than 20 minutes when I put her down at 9:30 pm. I closed our bedroom door when I went to bed and I briefly woke sometime in the middle of the night when I heard her cry, but I ignored it and went back to sleep. She must not have cried very long. I woke up at 7 AM and she was still in her own bed.

I can't believe it. This little gal, who I thought would be sleeping in my bed until she went to college, is starting to sleep in her own bed. She still isn't thrilled with her bed, but we're getting there! This is great! Now I can start the weaning process!



Oh, and I must mention that last night she decided she wants to use walking as her primary mode of transportation! I also took care of an itchy rash she had a few days ago, and since treating that, life has been much easier!

Sleep training day 2

If it were easy, it wouldn't be hard...*

Wednesday Morning Nap: Soothed B.G. to sleep at 10 AM. She immediately woke up when I put her in her bed (shock!) and screamed. I let her scream 30 minutes, got her, and had her asleep by 10:40. She slept about an hour.

Wednesday Afternoon Nap: It seemed pretty obvious that B.G. needed good quality sleep, and while I want her to get used to her own bed, she sleeps better on mine. So I soothed her to sleep and put her on my bed around 2:30.

Wednesday Night: I knew B.G. needed to go to sleep earlier, but to have some consistency, I didn't put her down hours earlier. I started her bedtime routine by 6:30, and she was showing obvious signs of needing to go to bed by 8:30, so I sang her some songs, she was drowsy, and I put her to bed. Screaming commenced and lasted 50 minutes. She was asleep by 9:30 and slept until 12:30, at which point I brought her to bed.

My Baby Girl is still the happiest, most playful little thing there is. In other words, there has been no sign that she is not handling this well. Which makes me think the Sears' don't know everything. And they might even be wrong about how babies interpret being left to cry it out.

Isn't it funny how many different perspectives there are about how to raise children. On one extreme of the spectrum you have Baby Wise, which works great for many people, but can be dangerous to a baby's health if taken to the extreme. On the other end is Co-sleeping and child-directed parenting (also known as attachment parenting.) Whenever you share what you've decided to do, people come out of the woodwork with horror stories, or telling you "I could never let any baby cry, it's inhumane, you must be a monster." Or if you co-sleep "Heavenly Father knows I could never survive if my baby didn't sleep through the night." Really? Or how about "Why do some parents just 'give in' to their child? I'm the parent, my child does what I say." Yeah, good luck with that when he's a teenager.

What we really need as mothers is support, not judgement. Do we need information? Often. Do we need advice? If we ask for it. Do we need love and understanding? Definitely. This is what I've prayerfully decided to do.

*Sheri Dew

Sleep training day 1

Tuesday Morning nap: I put Baby Girl in her bed a little before 10 am, mostly asleep. She immediately awoke and cried for 30 minutes. After that period, I went and got her, soothed her back to sleep, then put her on my bed. (I decided to follow Dr. Weisbluth, but only for 30 minutes during nap time instead of the hour he suggests.) She then slept for an hour, which is a good nap for her.

Tuesday Afternoon Nap: B.G. fell asleep on the way home from an outing in the stroller, around 2 pm. She slept for more than an hour after I transferred her to my bed.

Tuesday Night: I got home from Yoga (which was awesome, btw) and followed B.G.'s routine strictly. I also made sure she was showing definite signs of being tired (ie rubbing eyes, yawning) and then put her to bed. Awake. I know, I'm brave. She cried for 20 minutes. No, let me amend that: she SCREAMED for 20 minutes. In my mind as I listened to her scream, I imagined her being mad at me. "Throw me any tantrum," I thought. "I can handle a mad baby." What I can't handle a sad baby whose needs aren't being met, so I reminded myself that she had everything she needed, just not what she wanted. After all, Heavenly Father doesn't give us everything we want the minute we yell for it. If he did, we wouldn't be stretched and shaped into the glorious Beings He wants us to be. I put her to bed at 9:20 pm (I'm working on earlier, but like I said, I had Yoga, and DH gave her a bath, so props to him!) and she fell asleep for good at 10 pm. She woke up screaming after 1 AM and I brought her to bed. I'm not sure what I was thinking, but I wasn't ready for hours of middle-of the night screaming.

So, the plan will be the same tonight. I might wait to let her scream in the middle of the night until Friday, when DH can be home for the weekend and we can tag-team naps. At any rate, I count last night as a success because she only nursed 2 times. I nursed her at 8:30 pm, then again at 1 am and again a couple hours later. She didn't nurse this morning until after 9, so weaning should be a cinch once I get her sleeping through the night. I gotta be honest, I'm excited to have my body back. It's been 3 1/2 years straight of pregnancy, nursing or both. Boy, can I use a break. (Don't get me wrong, I LOVE it, but I'm excited to parent without sharing my body quite so fully!)

*The picture is from May. I couldn't find a more recent one of B.G. sleeping. lol.

I am NOT your lovey.

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time there was a Sweet, Darling Baby Girl. Her parents cherished her, and were only mildly disappointed that she hated sleeping in her own bed. After all, cuddling was so much fun! Of course, they did everything they could to get her to sleep in her bed from the day she was born (such as making the bed smell like them, putting her to bed almost asleep, having a bedtime routine, etc.) but it was all to no avail. This Dear Child despised her bed. Finally, her exhausted parents decided they could all sleep together in the same bed.

The only problem was that the older Baby Girl got, the MORE she started waking up at night. Yes, the bedtime routine was still in place, and occassionally Mommy would try and put the Darling in her own bed. The result of getting anywhere near the crib was screaming that led to hysterics for both Mommy and Baby Girl. So Mommy tried putting baby in the crib less and less often.

To make matters worse, Baby appeared to have food sensitivities. Mommy noticed that whenever baby ate bananas or corn during the day, she woke up much more during the night. Wanting to nurse. This led to a Mommy whose grumpy level was off the charts.

"Hmmm," thought Mommy. "Maybe I should let her cry it out." She tried this half-heartedly, but always felt like she was traumatizing her baby.

Then she read The Baby Sleep Book by the Sears'. This book propagandized that she was selfish if she didn't give up all her sleep for her baby and led her to believe that letting Baby cry would lead to life-long emotional and learning problems. This fear of causing her baby harm is still deeply embedded in her psyche.

Finally one night Mommy decided she'd had enough. That was the last straw. Baby was now almost 1 and still waking up every 2-3 hours at night screaming until being nursed. Mommy decided that she HAD to start letting baby cry it out.

But then she realized: Baby HATES her bed! How is this going to work? Will the upstairs neighbors hate us? Will it even work? Will my baby become completely unable to regulate her own emotions? Will she resent me? How many nights will I have to endure screaming? Should I try a graduated approach? Is there a medical reason Baby still wakes up, or is it a learned behavior?

Maybe YOU can help Mommy?

*Mommy has also read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, No Cry Sleep Solution, and Babywise.