My faith

I'm a Mormon.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I have 3 sisters...

….Well, actually I have 6, 3 from my mom and 3 from other moms. But this post is just about 3 of them.

My oldest sister is a gem. She is beautiful and kind. Her quest for perfection leaves her a bit disappointed at times, but not because she isn’t wonderful. It’s more that she is very hard on herself. This dear one longs to have one of the greatest blessings; that of eternal marriage. Yet, despite how wonderful a wife she would be, for some reason this blessing has not yet been realized.

The next sister, who I also love dearly, received some devastating news 2 years ago. She found out that she would not bear children in this life. When she told me the news I cried for her. I had just had my own dear daughter and I partly worried she would hate me, but mostly worried that this trial was too much to ask. Fortunately I was wrong to worry about either of those.

I have already written about my 3rd sister, whose sweet Scotlin went to Heaven 3 months ago today. I think about him every day, I think about her every day. I hold my Sweet C and wonder why God chose to take her baby when I get to keep mine. I don’t really understand it. It doesn’t make sense.

None of it really makes any sense to me. WHY do my dear sisters have to go through these trials? Why are their arms & hearts aching for what Heavenly Father has withheld? How can I begin to understand what they are going through?

Elder Maxwell once said that “why” is really an expression of resentment. I don’t resent Heavenly Father. In fact, I feel that the fact that my sisters are facing these trials shows that Heavenly Father trusts them. Nor am I worried that He doesn’t trust me, as my life is fairly easy right now. I know that my trials will come. And when they do, I know that my sisters will wrap their arms around me and cry with me.

It has been amazing though. Even though she is unmarried, Staci serves and loves and lives a full life. She isn’t putting things off, but seems determined to prove to herself that she is worthy of all the blessings Heavenly Father has in store for her. Julie has transformed into this powerful, faithful woman. She still has bad days, but she knows that through the blessing of adoption, her family will be created, and that she will not miss out on any experience that is important to her. Whitney is also a wonder. I know she hates it when people tell her how strong she is. I know she has days when she falls apart and her arms ache to hold her dear Son. I know she doesn’t know WHY this happened. But she knows that it will be alright.

I love my 3 sisters, (and the other 3 too). And I know that God has a plan for each of us. He also has a gift: Eternal life. And if we can love each other and endure, we will receive all that he has in store for us!


Staci Lei said...

Crystal--YOU are a gem! I'm so grateful you married Stuart and that you are my sister and you have two beautiful girls who I adore and who put a smile on my face :).

Thank you for your personal insights. I was feeling a little confused and couldn't see past it--your insights helped me to focus on a different perspective. Love you!

Kory and Steve said...

Oh my WOW Crystal!! You are so AMAZING... I actually cried, I can't lie. This was a beautiful post and I am so glad that our Heavenly Father is in charge and knows all... I also agree, Julie has the most amazing spirit and she helps me quite often by just being her normal self. You parents raised some fantastic kids and I know they are so pleased! Thanks :)

Heatherlady said...

Really a beautiful post. I don't think it is any coincidence that the majority of stories of women in the scriptures deal with women who are unable to bear children, loose children or are widowed-- I think God knew that those would be some of the hardest challenges his daughters would face and he has given us so many beautiful examples to follow. What lucky sisters you have to have you!

Whitney said...

Oh Crys! I just love you. You are an amazing blessing in my life. You lift me up every day and I'm so glad Heavenly Father let me be your sister and your friend!

Jewls said...

I was searching for your homemade french fry recipe and stumbled on this made me cry! I love you sis!