Musing on Motherhood

Motherhood has been on my mind a lot lately.  It's no wonder, I am a full-time mom to three little girls!  But I've had a couple of thoughts in particular that I need to write down!

Becoming a mother to my first daughter was heaven!  When she and I were together, I felt like I was born to mother. Every second was a fulfillment of my lifelong desire to raise children! (Well, maybe a few of those sleepless nights were annoying, but they were outweighed by the giggles, games of peekaboo, songs, and general joy a baby can bring!)  I recall a specific instance of feeling proud of myself for never even feeling angry or annoyed at my child.  She was nine months old or so and I felt so successful.  I was so patient, so caring, so engaging.  Motherhood, while I knew it wouldn't be easy, would be something I enjoyed every second of.

Now I look back and laugh at my 25-year-old self.  I also feel a little pity.  She had no idea what was coming.  The heartache of having a child you can't comfort.  The embarrassment of a child flinging herself on the floor in the middle of Hobby Lobby.  The years (literally) of only a handful of nights of uninterrupted sleep.  Not to mention all the "You're the meanest mom ever!"s and  "I'm not your kid anymore!"s.   I thought I was patient THEN!?  And then people tell me it's going to get worse?  My oldest is only 5!! (PS if you are a mom to teens, please don't dishearten exhausted young mommies by telling them it only gets worse!  Just give them a hug and offer to do their dishes!)

It took me a while to put my finger on why motherhood has become so hard for me.  Why do I sometimes have days when I wish I could be doing ANYTHING ELSE?  Why do my patience and sanity seem to hang by a thread with every small trial? The answer came to me last week.  My entire life, things have come pretty easy.  Learning and school were simple, college wasn't bad, I felt like I was progressing in my career as a teacher and was naturally competent in that field.  But nothing compares to motherhood.  It's not easy for me!  It is all-day, all-night, day in and day out with little thanks and rare golden moments that make it all worth it.  Growing up, with a little effort I could master a skill.  But just when I think I can handle a tantrumming toddler, I get thrown some major kindergartener attitude and I feel like all the skills I have developed are meaningless.

Tonight I was talking to my dad on the phone.  I told him that I felt I needed to get my teacher re-certification done soon.  He asked me why.  The answer I gave had some weight, but it didn't really describe my true feelings.  I told him that sometimes I forget that I used to know stuff.  That I used to be good at stuff besides washing dishes and changing diapers.  Perhaps I need to dig deeper to realize how much I know about maintaining a home, budgeting, child development, teaching, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and many other things that I could never have learned as well had I not chosen to become a mother!

Does the answer I gave my daddy make it seem like dishes and diapers are a drudgery?  Motherhood is anything but monotonous to me.  I mean, at any given moment I could be trying to problem solve my toddler's tantrum, while helping my three-year-old clean up the lotion she rubbed on every square inch of the bathroom (while having the chat "lotion is for grown-ups and it costs money, so you don't get to touch it, ok?"), or teaching my five-year-old how to read (and trying not to get frustrated that she still sometimes just can't tell "b" from "d".  Darn those letters that mirror each other!)

When I really think about it, my life can not be called boring.  It's still hard, and compounded by the fact that my husband works a lot.  I won't go there in this post but if often feels like I'm the lone warrior in a huge battle. (Come to my house at bedtime if you want to see the battle in action!)

So there you have it.  My meandering thoughts on motherhood.  I'm more patient now that I ever thought possible, and hopefully I will gain even more patience and perspective before the "teenage years" set in.  Can I be honest?  I am just going to be SO excited when I don't have to help wipe bums, hold the 3 year old down to brush her teeth, or constantly get healthy snacks for hungry bodies. (Why are my kids always desperately hungry 20 minutes after dinner?!)  I have hope that they'll be able to do those things on their own at some point.  But will I miss the requests for more tickles, playing "I'm gonna get you!", and snuggling sweet-smelling littles while reading books?

I'll end with the words of a wise mother: "Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power." Julie Beck

Just a thought

Since becoming a mother almost five years ago, my life has been filled with minor anxieties about teaching my children.  I believe I am equal to the task, but it seems there is a lot of room for parent failure!  Fortunately, I am doing my best to seek the help of my Heavenly Parents.  I have thought a lot about how Heavenly Father and Mother (I see no reason to leave her out, I feel confident that she and I were very close in the pre-mortal realm and I love her!) parent us.  The Eyre's wrote a great book that gives lots of lessons we can learn from our Heavenly Parents, and I won't go into those.  BUT, a few minutes ago I did have a thought, and I thought I would share it and let you take it where you want.

When the Savior fasted for forty days at the beginning of His ministry, he was then tempted by the devil.  I have borne testimony to my children many times about the reality and divinity of the Savior.  But I think it's important to remind them that Lucifer is real, and that he wants to claim us.  In D&C 76, Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery bear powerful testimony of Jesus Christ.  "He lives, for we saw Him, even on the right hand of God." (verses 22-24) Then, they are shown in vision the fall of Satan. (verses 25-30)  "And this we also saw, and bear record."  I wouldn't call it a testimony of Satan, but it is important to acknowledge that yes, he is real.  And He "maketh war with the Saints of God."  

So, the conclusion I draw from this is that not only must we warn our children of Satan's desire to have power over us, but perhaps one way they can combat his temptations is by using the same strategies the Savior did when he was tempted after a period of fasting.  Our family will be studying these scriptures and seeking to learn how to make it through these temptations.  

How do you teach your children to withstand the temptations of the devil?

What God gave me time for.

Before I had children, I promised myself I'd never be the mother who asked "Why did I ever want children?" but sometimes I find myself thinking "I don't want to do this anymore." It's kind of like the feeling I had toward the end of labor with my last two children. I was exhausted. Mentally, physically, and emotionally spent. That time in labor is called "transition." I also sometimes experience that feeling during a run. I just. Don't. Want. To. Keep. Going.

But with labor, there was only one alternative: have the baby. What a glorious reward for my pain and struggle! And I know that I always feel great after a run. I feel strong. I feel like I can do anything.

Motherhood is a little different. Frequently I find myself struggling along, wondering how I'm supposed to do a good job at all the necessary tasks, and I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of laundry. I used to think all the laundry jokes were exaggerated. They are not. When things get hard, when I feel like throwing in the towel, it's hard to see the silver lining. When, oh when will this end? When will my four-year-old stop whining? When will my 2-year-old stop screaming? And when will my baby start sleeping through the night?

I've had a lot of days recently where I'm changing 4 diapers an hour, staying up all night with one child or another, and dealing with tantrums, meltdowns, kids not sharing, not to mention trying to keep up with housework (which is just not happening right now!)

This morning, after changing yet another diaper, when I found myself thinking "I don't want to do this anymore," the next thought I had was "but what would I do instead?"

And then I realized that I wouldn't trade all the hugs and kisses, all the smiles and giggles, or even all the mundane or frustrating tasks, for anything else in the world. After all, this is what God gave me time for.
My three sweet children:

Teaching the Doctrine of the Family

This speech from Julie Beck, who is the General Relief Society President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is an essential read!

A few gems:

President J. Reuben Clark Jr. said, “Your chief
interest, your essential and all but sole duty, is
to teach the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ as
that has been revealed in these latter
days” (“The Charted Course of the Church in
Education” [address to seminary and institute
of religion leaders, Aug. 8, 1938]

We know, from visiting with [the youth] and
conducting studies, that they show a lack of
faith in their ability to be successful in families.
They don’t see forming families as a faith-based
work. For them, it’s a selection process much
like shopping. They don’t see it as something
that the Lord will bless them and help them to
accomplish. They also distrust their own moral
strength and the moral strength of their peers.
Because temptations are so fierce, they aren’t
sure they can be successful in keeping
covenants. They also have insufficient and
underdeveloped social skills, which are an
impediment to them in forming eternal families

A lot of the antifamily messages that you are
hearing are targeting young women. Satan
knows that he will never have a body; he will
never have a family. He will target those young
women who create the bodies for the future
generations and who should teach the families.
They don’t even know what they’re being
taught in the messages. It’s just seeping in,
almost through their pores. Because Satan can’t
have it, he’s luring away many women, and
also men, and they’re losing confidence in their
ability to form eternal families.

Oftentimes with young adults I’ll tell the story
about the day my husband and I were married.
We had three dollars. Even worldwide, that’s
not very much money nowadays. It was a faithbased work when we got married. We didn’t
get married because of money, or because our
education was complete, or because we even
had a place to live. We lived with Grandpa and
took care of him for the first season of our
marriage. We went to school and worked hard,
but we entered that relationship as a faith-based
work. We knew that we had made a covenant
with the Lord and that He would bless us. It
didn’t take money; it took faith. Those are
messages they need to have and get confidence
in because of you.

Weary

Our sweet baby was born 3 weeks ago. We are SO in love with her.

But we're also exhausted. It seems that adding 1 little person to our family has quadrupled our "to-do list" and exponentially increased our fatigue.

Tonight I was preparing this Sunday School lesson for the 12-13 year olds that I teach and came across this familiar scripture:

D&C 64:33-34
33 Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.

34 Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in these last days.

I needed this reminder. I may be weary as a mama of 3, but I am laying the foundation of a great work! These little people depend on me for almost everything, but if I am willing to rely on the Lord and be patient with them, and with myself, then I will see great rewards! I'm weary, but these small things I'm doing will bring about great things!

Mary DID know!

This poem by Marilyn Arnold is inspiring! I often wonder what Mary thought about when she "took all these things and pondered them in her heart."

I sit here,
2000 years away,
gazing out blinded windows
trying to see--
past the dirtying snow
and the thickening fog
to that moment in Nazareth
when Gabriel came in blinding light
to a young woman
(I was once a young woman)
and said, "Hail thou art
highly favored, the Lord is with thee:
blessed art thou among women."
And then he announced that she
would conceived and bear the Son
of God, the Redeemer of the world--
that God, the Father, would father
her child, and that her child
would be her Lord and God.

Luke says she was "troubled"
and apparently afraid.
Troubled. What a burden of meaning
for a single word.
She had read the prophecies,
she knew a virgin would conceive
and bear the Holy Kind of Israel,
but she could not conceive of the event
nor of herself as that virgin.
"How shall this be, seeing
I know not a man?"

I labor to reconstruct the moment,
to fathom her mind's first incredulous
response to the news. Troubled,
Luke says. Indeed.

Why me? I cannot do this thing
Ah, God, let me sleep and then wake
to discover this a dream,
to find this angel is merely
a strange cast of light.
Insubstantial. Nothing to be heeded.
Let yesterday return, when all my mind
was full only of Joseph and our marriage.
Joseph! Ah, Joseph!
How will I tell him? Will he believe?

And then Gabriel interrupting,
answering her fear and
her stuttering heart:
"The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee,
and the power of the Highest shall
overshadow thee....For with God
nothing shall be impossible.

And she, knowing it is so,
knowing she is to be the vessel of
first deliverance, and He of second,
acquiesces, drawing strength from obedience:
"Behold the handmaid of the Lord;
be it unto me according to thy word."

"And the word was with God, and the
Word was God." And the Word
was with Mary, and then with us.
And is ever with us.
Mary, given to pondering things
in her heart, emerges in strength and surety.
I, pondering things through the dimness
of blinded windows,
take heart in messages from angels
and the new voice of woman transformed,
resounding through centuries of muffled hope:

My soul doth magnify the Lord,
And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
For he hath regarded the low estate of this handmaiden;
for behold, from henceforth
all generations shall call me blessed.
For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name."

My favorite Christmas Carol

I'm not sure why this song touches me so deeply. Perhaps, having given birth and looking into the eyes of my newborn, it is powerful to contemplate who's presence that little one came from, and what their earthly mission will be?

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?

Mary did you know.. Ooo Ooo Ooo

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.

Self-help

A few months ago I was perusing the shelves of a local bookstore. I came across the title What the Scriptures Teach Us About Raising a Child. Of course this book caught my eye! An entire book dedicated to Christ-centered parenting? What could be better?

But before I picked up the book, I remembered something I learned in college. I constantly feel blessed to have attended a university that taught faith and academics simultaneously. I specifically remember a lesson in a teacher education class that centered on how to apply the scriptures to teaching. The teacher encouraged us to start at the beginning of the Book of Mormon and study each verse to see what we could glean about teaching. I began a study, and was amazed at what I learned! My study fizzled out before I got very far, but the lesson stayed in the back of my mind.

As I thought about that lesson in regards to this, likely inspiring, book, I realized that even though reading other's interpretation of doctrine and the Gospel can bring enlightenment, it is nothing compared to what the Holy Ghost can teach us when we diligently search God's word.

I myself have been a victim of the "Self-Help" epidemic, as I like to call it. There are millions of books on the market, all dedicated to helping people be better spouses, parents, children, teachers, dieters, personal finance managers, etc. You can find a self-help book on just about any subject you want. But I will never forget a truth taught by President Boyd K Packer, who said "I have long believed that the study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than talking about behavior will improve behavior."

Don't get me wrong, I think self-help books have their place. But when we need to change ourselves, we shouldn't turn first to the latest fad, or scientific discovery but to the Savior and His words. He will change our hearts and through His grace, and our efforts, we will become more like him.

So, with all these thoughts in mind, I began. Starting in 1 Nephi chapter one, which my notebook and pen in hand, I poured over each verse, searching for truths that would teach me how to be a parent. I begged the Savior to help me know how to teach the little ones He has entrusted to me. I pleaded for answers and learned things I would never have supposed. From the verse that explained how Lehi pitched his tent next to a river of water, I learned that, as parents, our first priority should be to stay close to the source of Living Water, the Savior. From Nephi's declaration "Let us be faithful," I learned that even when people around me mock my values and efforts to be obedient, I can rely on the Lord, and I can teach my children this.

I have been amazed and comforted at how much love God has for His children. I'm still progressing (slowly), and to be honest, sometimes my efforts to study the entire Book of Mormon seeking to know how to raise my children lags a little. But I have faith that the Lord will teach me what He wants me to know, and the Holy Ghost will testify of the truth of the Book of Mormon as the Word of God.

* I LOVE the illustration on the cover of this book! One of my favorite pictures of Mary and her Son!

It's the Holiday Season...

For years I have been wanting to make an advent calendar. Last year I was going to make this particular calendar, but never got around to it. So this weekend I made sure I had everything I needed, and started in on my project. I'm making three calendars. One for each of my girls with a treat inside, and one for our family that has the daily scriptures/stories/songs/movies to help us remember the Savior.
My almost 3-year-old took this picture.

Make sure you put magnets on 4 sides of the back of each circle.


She was so proud of the calendar she "helped" make. Excuse her sans pants appearance. She stayed home from church sick, and therefore never got dressed.

Also, as a kick-off to my HOLIDAY season, I wanted to share this great article from Gordon B Hinckley. Reading this helps me keep Christ in Christmas!
At this Christmas season, may I share a few thoughts concerning him whose birth we commemorate—the Man of Miracles, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Although he healed the sick, raised the dead, caused the lame to walk and the blind to see, there is no miracle comparable to the miracle of Christ himself.

We live in a world of pomp and muscle, of strutting that glorifies jet thrust and far-flying warheads. It is the same kind of strutting that produced the misery of the days of Caesar, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, and Hitler. In this kind of world it is not easy to recognize that—

A babe born in a stable of the village of Bethlehem,

A boy reared as a carpenter of Nazareth,

A citizen of a conquered and subdued nation,

A man whose mortal footsteps never went beyond a radius of 150 miles, who never received a school degree, who never spoke from a great pulpit, who never owned a home, who traveled afoot and without purse

Truly, his coming, ministry, and place in our eyes is as foretold by the ancient prophet Isaiah: “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” (Isa. 9:6.)

I ask anew the question offered by Pilate two thousand years ago, “What shall I do then with Jesus which is called Christ?” (Matt. 27:22.) Indeed, we need continually to ask ourselves, What shall we do with Jesus who is called Christ? What shall we do with his teachings, and how can we make them an inseparable part of our lives? In light of these questions, at this season we ask another: What does Christmas really mean? May I suggest some things that it should mean?

Christmas means giving. The Father gave his Son, and the Son gave his life. Without giving there is no true Christmas, and without sacrifice there is no true worship. There is more to Christmas than neckties, earrings, toys, and all the tinseled stuff of which we make so much.

I recall an experience I heard at a stake conference in Idaho. A farm family in the community had just contracted for the installation of an additional and much-needed room on their home. Three or four days later the father came to the building supply dealer and said, “Will it be all right with you if we cancel the contract? The bishop talked with John about a mission last night. We will need to set this room aside for a while.” The building supply dealer responded, “Your son will go on his mission, and he will find the needed room when he returns.” Here was the spirit of Christmas—a family sending a boy into the world to teach the gospel, and friends coming to help the family with their problems. What then, indeed, shall we do with Jesus who is called Christ?

Christmas means giving—and “the gift without the giver is bare.” Giving of self; giving of substance; giving of heart and mind and strength in assisting those in need and in spreading the cause of His eternal truth—these are of the very essence of the true spirit of Christmas.

Christmas means the Christ child, the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger while angels sang and wise men traveled far to bring gifts. It is a beautiful and timeless story, and I hope each of us will read it again this season.

When I think of the Savior, I think not only of the words of Matthew and Luke, but also of the words of John: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

“The same was in the beginning with God.

“All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

“In him was life; and the life was the light of men.” (John 1:1–4.)

Here is something more than a babe in a manger; here is the Creator of all that is good and beautiful. I have looked at majestic mountains rising high against the blue sky and thought of Jesus, the Creator of heaven and earth. I have stood on the sand of an island in the Pacific and watched the dawn rise like thunder—a ball of gold surrounded by clouds of pink and white and purple—and thought of Jesus, the Word by whom all things were made and without whom was not anything made that was made. I have seen a beautiful child—bright-eyed, innocent, loving and trusting—and marveled at the majesty and miracle of creation. What then shall we do with Jesus who is called Christ?

This earth is his creation. When we make it ugly, we offend him. Our bodies are the work of our Creator. When we abuse them, we abuse him.

Christmas means eternity. As certainly as Christ came into the world, lived among men, laid down his life, and became the first fruits of the resurrection, so, through that atonement, all become partakers of immortality. Death will come, but death has been robbed of its sting, and the grave of its victory. “I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

“And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.” (John 11:25–26.)

I remember standing before the bier of a young man whose life had been bright with hope and promise. He had been an athlete in his high school, and an excellent university student. He was a friendly, affable, brilliant young man. He had gone into the mission field. He and his companion were riding down the highway when a car, coming from the opposite direction, moved into their lane and crashed into them. He died in the hospital an hour later. As I stood at the pulpit and looked into the faces of his father and his mother, there came then into my heart a conviction that I had seldom before felt with such assurance. I knew with certainty, as I looked across that casket, that this young man had not died, but had merely been transferred to another field of labor in the eternal ministry of the Lord.

Indeed, what shall one do with Jesus who is called Christ? Let us live with the certain knowledge that some day “we shall be brought to stand before God, knowing even as we know now, and have a bright recollection of all our guilt” (Alma 11:43.) Let us live today knowing that we shall live forever. Let us live with the conviction that whatever principle of intelligence and beauty and truth and goodness we make a part of our life here, it will rise with us in the resurrection.

Christmas means compassion and love and, most of all, forgiveness. “Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world!” (John 1:29.) How poor indeed would be our lives without the influence of his teachings and his matchless example. The lessons of the turning of the other cheek, going the second mile, the return of the prodigal, and scores of other incomparable teachings have filtered down the ages to become the catalyst to bring kindness and mercy out of much of man’s inhumanity to man.

Brutality reigns where Christ is banished. Kindness and forbearance govern where Christ is recognized and his teachings are followed.

What shall we do then with Jesus who is called Christ? “He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?” (Micah 6:8.)

“Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.” (D&C 64:9.)

Christmas means peace. I remember being in Europe a number of years ago at the time tanks were rolling down the streets of a great city, and students were being slaughtered with machine-gun fire. I stood that December day in the railroad station in Berne, Switzerland. At eleven o’clock in the morning, every church bell in Switzerland began to ring, and at the conclusion of that ringing, every vehicle stopped—every car on the highway, every bus, every railroad train. The great, cavernous railway station became deathly still. I looked out the front door across the plaza. Men working on the hotel opposite stood on the scaffolding with bared heads. Every bicycle stopped. Every man and woman and child dismounted and stood with bared, bowed heads. Then, after three minutes of prayerful silence, trucks, great convoys of them, began to roll from Geneva and Berne and Basel and Zurich toward the suffering nation to the east, laden with supplies—food, clothing, and medicine. The gates of Switzerland were thrown open to refugees.

As I stood there that December morning, I marveled at the miraculous contrast of the oppressive power mowing down students in one nation and the spirit of a Christian people in another who bowed their heads in prayer and reverence, then rolled up their sleeves to provide succor and salvation.

What shall we do then with Jesus which is called Christ? “For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.” (Matt. 25:35–36.)

He whose birth we commemorate this season is more than the symbol of a holiday. He is the Son of God, the Creator of the earth, the Jehovah of the Old Testament, the fulfillment of the Law of Moses, the Redeemer of mankind, the King of Kings, the Prince of Peace.

I thank our Eternal Father that mankind in these latter-days has been so blessed to know of Christ with added certainty and added knowledge. I rejoice with thanksgiving that he has reaffirmed his matchless gospel truths in their fulness, and that he has restored his priesthood power and church to prepare a people and make ready for his eventual coming in great glory and power in the opening of the Millennial era.

I rejoice at Christmas time that as a people, we Latter-day Saints know of his existence and reality, and receive certain direction from him.

“And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!

“For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father—

“That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God.” (D&C 76:22–24.)

This is our testimony to all mankind. It is our gift and blessing to the world. He is our joy and our salvation, and we will find Christmas of greater meaning in our own lives as we share these truths with others.

What shall we do with Jesus who is called Christ? Learn of him. Search the scriptures for they are they which testify of him. Ponder the miracle of his life and mission. Try a little more diligently to follow his example and observe his teachings. Bring the Christ back into Christmas.

Gordon B. Hinckley, “‘What Shall I Do Then with Jesus Which Is Called Christ?’,” Ensign, Dec 1983, 3

Cop out

Isn't it so lame when bloggers just post links of other blogs. I guess sometimes other people just post things I wish I had posted. Or maybe it just goes to show that as God's Children, we need each other and all the varied talents and ideas we each bring to the table.

At any rate, my wonderful sister wrote this, and I was touched.

My other little *sister could sure use some love this month! I can't believe it has been a year since we lost Scotlin. I wish he was here now. I wish we were watching him learn to walk and play with his cousins. I wish we could all see the big picture behind this tragedy, but we're still a bit shocked, sad, and lost.

Reading in Luke 1 the other day, I had the reassurance that Scotlin's little spirit was in his body. When Mary meets with Elisabeth, John jumps in Elisabeth's womb for being in the presence of the Mother of the Son of God. I think Heavenly Father was reminding me that Scotlin had his brief mortal existence, and Scotlin has other purposes in the eternities that we can't yet comprehend. Still, I feel the loss of my little nephew. I wonder what he would look like. I wonder what his little personality would be like!

For now we continue following the Savior. I find great comfort in the words of the Savior: "IN the world ye shall have tribulation. But be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world."

*Don't read Whitney's blog unless you're prepared to cry.*

I will go and do, not question You.

I have gained great strength from Nephi and his journey from Jerusalem to the promised land. His willingness to obey no matter what is inspiring. In 1 Nephi 9, Nephi explains a particular commandment. “I have received a commandment of the Lord that I should make these plates,” meaning the smaller plates. The large plates already contained a record of what had happened.

We know that Nephi is faithful in keeping God’s commandments. When he was commanded to obtain the Brass Plates, he knew why. He knew that his posterity would not have been able to obey the commandments unless they had the scriptures which contained God’s law. He knew they were commanded to leave Jerusalem in order to preserve their lives. He even knew that if he failed to obey the prompting to slay Laban, however repulsed he felt by such a command, would result in an entire nation dwindling in unbelief. So he had faith, not only that God would help him accomplish the commandments, but that each commandment had a divine purpose.

Verses 5&6 in 1 Nephi 9 provide interesting insights: “This Lord hath commanded me to make these plates for a wise purpose in him, which purpose I know not. BUT THE LORD KNOWETH ALL THINGS from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of his words.” The powerful message behind these words is that sometimes we may not know the reason for a specific commandment. Often times we don’t fully understand why we are asked to do something. But we can exercise a particle of faith and ACT, knowing that God’s purposes will be revealed eventually.

This principle seems to fall directly in line with what Elder Richard G Scot of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said in the most recent General Conference: “Thus, every time you try your faith—that is, act in worthiness on an impression—you will receive the confirming evidence of the Spirit. As you walk to the boundary of your understanding into the twilight of uncertainty, exercising faith, you will be led to find solutions you would not obtain otherwise. With even your strongest faith, God will not always reward you immediately according to your desires. Rather, God will respond with what in His eternal plan is best for you, when it will yield the greatest advantage. Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. That causes your faith to increase and your character to grow.”

I do have to clarify that I think it is perfectly acceptable to ask Heavenly Father to help us understand why we are to obey the commandments. Especially if it troubles us. But failing to obey the commandment until we understand every detail and the eternal perspective of it can result in missed blessings, decreased faith, and ultimately apostasy.

Confidence in Youth

Sometimes it can be discouraging to think of all the things our children will face. How will they come out on top? How can I possibly teach these little people all they need to know to successfully overcome temptation? Then I read things like this:

Of all the help we can give these young people, the greatest will be to let them feel our confidence that they are on the path home to God and that they can make it. And we do that best by going with them. Because the path is steep and sometimes rocky, they will at times feel discouraged and even stumble. They may at times become confused about their destination and wander after less eternally important goals. These inspired [youth] programs make that less likely because they will lead the young person to invite and receive the companionship of the Holy Ghost.

The best counsel for us to give young people is that they can arrive back to Heavenly Father only as they are guided and corrected by the Spirit of God. So if we are wise, we will encourage, praise, and exemplify everything which invites the companionship of the Holy Ghost. When they share with us what they are doing and feeling, we must ourselves have qualified for the Spirit. Then they will feel in our praise and our smiles the approval of God. And should we feel the need to give corrective counsel, they will feel our love and the love of God in it, not rebuke and rejection, which can permit Satan to lead them further away.

...and I know it will be ok.

Purpose

We're still here, and we're still teaching the cutie pants 2 year old to potty in the toilet. It's going quite well, despite the fact that we've had at least 1 accident a day. (I won't give you the gory details.) It's amazing how time consuming it can be to make sure DD1 doesn't mess her pants. Today has been great though; no accidents, and we even made a trip to the library with panties on!

Last Sunday in church we sang the song that is really the purpose behind this blog. I thought I'd share the words. :)

Home can be a Heaven on earth when we are filled with love,
bringing happiness and joy, rich blessings from above.
Warmth and kindness, charity. Safety and security.
Making home a part of Heaven, where we want to be.

Drawing family near each week we'll keep love burning bright.
Serving Him with cheerful hearts, we'll grow in truth and light.
Parents teach and lead the way, children honor and obey
Reaching for our home in heaven, where we want to stay.

Praying daily in our home, we'll feel his love divine.
Searching scriptures faithfully, we'll nourish heart and mind.
Singing hymns of thanks, we'll say, "Father, help us find the way.
Leading to our home in heaven, where we long to stay."

Family Night Monday

Here is the family night lesson for this week:
Family Home Evening Outline


Opening Song: Let us oft speak kind words
Opening Prayer:

Agenda:
1. Family Gratitude Journal (Every week we begin by writing something that each person is grateful for)
2. Lesson: “Let us oft speak kind words to each other”
Opening: What kind of words should we say to each other? (List words)
Talk about using kind words, giving compliments,
*While the little ones draw on the word list, Read “Tongue of Angels” by Elder Holland
*Each person make a goal of how we can speak more kindly
*Heart Chart. This is a chart that Says "Let us oft speak kind words to eachother and has heart all around it. Throughout the week, whenever anyone says a kind word or speaks in a kind tone, they get to fill in a heart. The goal is to have all the hearts filled in by next week. (Let me know if you want me to email the one I made to print out, I'd be glad to

3. *Family Cultural Activity: Classical music (Dad chooses), and play instruments or sing together.

Closing Song: Love is Spoken Here

Closing Prayer:
*Every week we try to have a cultural experiences: art, good music, poetry, literature, etc. It's a lot of fun!

An important message

As a mother of daughters, I am often concerned with how I will teach them to live virtuous lives.

I think THIS talk by President Monson will be a great guide to me

I have 3 sisters...

….Well, actually I have 6, 3 from my mom and 3 from other moms. But this post is just about 3 of them.

My oldest sister is a gem. She is beautiful and kind. Her quest for perfection leaves her a bit disappointed at times, but not because she isn’t wonderful. It’s more that she is very hard on herself. This dear one longs to have one of the greatest blessings; that of eternal marriage. Yet, despite how wonderful a wife she would be, for some reason this blessing has not yet been realized.

The next sister, who I also love dearly, received some devastating news 2 years ago. She found out that she would not bear children in this life. When she told me the news I cried for her. I had just had my own dear daughter and I partly worried she would hate me, but mostly worried that this trial was too much to ask. Fortunately I was wrong to worry about either of those.

I have already written about my 3rd sister, whose sweet Scotlin went to Heaven 3 months ago today. I think about him every day, I think about her every day. I hold my Sweet C and wonder why God chose to take her baby when I get to keep mine. I don’t really understand it. It doesn’t make sense.

None of it really makes any sense to me. WHY do my dear sisters have to go through these trials? Why are their arms & hearts aching for what Heavenly Father has withheld? How can I begin to understand what they are going through?

Elder Maxwell once said that “why” is really an expression of resentment. I don’t resent Heavenly Father. In fact, I feel that the fact that my sisters are facing these trials shows that Heavenly Father trusts them. Nor am I worried that He doesn’t trust me, as my life is fairly easy right now. I know that my trials will come. And when they do, I know that my sisters will wrap their arms around me and cry with me.

It has been amazing though. Even though she is unmarried, Staci serves and loves and lives a full life. She isn’t putting things off, but seems determined to prove to herself that she is worthy of all the blessings Heavenly Father has in store for her. Julie has transformed into this powerful, faithful woman. She still has bad days, but she knows that through the blessing of adoption, her family will be created, and that she will not miss out on any experience that is important to her. Whitney is also a wonder. I know she hates it when people tell her how strong she is. I know she has days when she falls apart and her arms ache to hold her dear Son. I know she doesn’t know WHY this happened. But she knows that it will be alright.

I love my 3 sisters, (and the other 3 too). And I know that God has a plan for each of us. He also has a gift: Eternal life. And if we can love each other and endure, we will receive all that he has in store for us!

The Gift of Giving life

A friend's story was featured on this blog. I liked it, so I wanted to share. It is true that God gives us charge of these little ones, and He will help us. "I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

Fulfilled

I have to be honest. Sometimes I look at friends who seem "busy" and think "I'm not that busy. I just play with kids and clean the house." Sometimes I get little pangs that maybe I should be doing something more with my life. Occassionally I wonder what my life would be like if it hadn't been my main goal to be a mom. Would I have gone into medicine and become a successful surgeon? Would I have gone into business and be rolling in wealth? Perhaps law and politics would have attracted me?

Because I only ever wanted to be a mom, I chose a field that I felt would best prepare me for life as a mother: teaching. Sometimes I think about my former 5th grade students. Little Timmy who irked the heck out of me, but was so cute. Ruben, who I desperately want to clone and have for my own son. Kaylee, who was sweet and intelligent. Savon, who I really just never learned to like. (I should have tried harder with that one.)

Then I think about my current pupils. My sweet toddler who wants me to hide with her. Who loves to watch movies and eat grapes and take all her toys out of the box so she can take a "bath." My dear little 5 month old who lights up every time I pick her up. Who giggles when I nibble on her tummy and cries when she's tired or hungry.

It's true that I may not know a lot about economics or scientific studies and their validity. The world of politics is completely mind-numbing to me. (Seriously, why can't our country figure stuff out?!)

But there is something I know. I am a mommy. And it's the best job ever!

Agency and...puppets?

I wanted to write about two things that are completely unrelated.

First, I was thinking about Agency. We discussed this in Relief Society today, and one question that was brought up is how to teach our children about agency and choices/consequences. I mentioned that one thing I do is to allow chances to make simple choices often (which is encouraged by pretty much every parenting book I've ever read, from Love & Logic, to Positive Discipline, to Raising Optimistic Children.) But it got me thinking. Surely there is more we can do to directly teach our children about the Plan of Salvation and how agency plays a part in that.

We can read scriptures to them. Noah made a choice to follow Heavenly Father, whereas the wicked people of the Earth chose not to, and therefore drown in the flood. Nephi choose to obey God's commandments, instead of murmuring like his brothers, and he was blessed because of it.

I think our little children are easy to teach. They are sponges, and it isn't hard to teach even difficult Gospel topics by using stories from the scriptures. I'll probably think of more ways to teach this as I ponder more.
HOW do YOU teach your kids about agency?

PUPPETS! I recently hit the JACKPOT at Michael's. They have a dollar aisle, and I found some great hand puppets for $2 each. I also remembered my Elementary Ed theater class, where we learned, among many many other things, how to use puppets to help with classroom management. I LOVE when school helps in real life.

Tonight the lion puppet helped DD1 brush her teeth, dance, clean up toys, and get her jammies on. If you have a toddler/young child who has a hard time getting ready for bed/going somewhere/dinner/etc, get out a hand puppet, use a silly voice, and have fun doing it!!
What ideas do YOU have to use puppets in your daily routines?

Mommy melt-down

Yesterday I almost called my mom and begged her to come get me and let me stay at her house for the week. But I couldn't. There are lots of reasons.

Because I'm the Mommy, and I'm not supposed to wish I wasn't the Mommy...ever!


Because being a Mommy is the best job in the universe. How can I explain to people who long to have this job that it isn't peachy 100% of the time?

Because Mommies aren't supposed to need their Mommy.

Because I labor under the delusion that I have to try and be "Super Mommy" all the time.

Because I felt guilty for wanting a break from Mommyhood.

Because I convinced myself that since I'm going to my Mom's on Thursday I should just stick it out.

Because my house was a disaster and if I left, no one would clean it up.

Because instead I just cried. My sweet girl asked "Mommy sad?" Luckily she knows what being sad feels like, so she was the perfect person to comfort me.

I really DO love my job, but I think, especially with how young my kids are, I've got to find a balance between trying to be the "perfect" mom, and taking time for myself so that I have something left to give my children. Sometimes I get caught up in worrying that if I do one thing "wrong," then my children will be irreversably messed up. When those thoughts come I fail to remember that I am not alone in this challenge of motherhood. In fact, my best ally is the source of all wisdom, strength, and love.

So tomorrow, when I'm tired of laundry (which I DID wash, but DIDN'T fold today), screaming babies, or reading "Alice the Fairy," I will take a deep breath, say a prayer, and maybe just call my mommy.