Things we do.

I adore Pinterest. What a great way to find and organize ideas! The big problem, however, is actually accomplishing any of these ideas. Starting this week, my almost-four-year-old looked at Pinterest together in order to find 5 activities we could do together. I'm finally feeling like a normal human being since baby #3 was born, and we also have a computer now (YAY!), so although I'm not making any promises to myself, I want to blog about the things we do, at least so I can add them to Pinterest.

One activity we chose was to make butterflies with toilet paper rolls. Ours turned out really cute, using some old scrapbook paper, googly eyes, and foam stickers cut to make a nose and mouth.


(I had to add this picture of my preschooler, in her princess attire, with her pouty face. She has been so pouty today!)

I get knocked down...

...But I haven't gotten up again.

OK, so this having three kids 3 and under is really a challenge right now. Preschool? Non-existent. Sanity? Hanging by a thread. Sleep? Yes, please!

Blogging? NO time!!

Yes, I'm blogging right now, only to explain why I probably won't blog for a while. I'm struggling to find joy in motherhood. I never thought I would wonder "why did I have kids?" But to be brutally honest, that thought has crossed my mind lately. This is HARD!! There are a lot of things I'm having to let go of. I realized lately that homeschooling was causing me a lot of stress deep down, even though I'm not even doing it yet. So I've let go of that. If I can homeschool later, I will. But if I need to send my kids to public school, that will be wonderful too. I'm learning to accept what I can do, to focus on my kids as much as possible, and to LET GO of things that don't matter in the grand scheme.

Someday I'll blog again. But right now, I've got to stick with the essentials. :)

Starting preschool.

All of my friend's with children DD1's age seem to be sending their kids to preschool. In fact, we are often asked where she goes to preschool. She doesn't. And she won't. In fact, she already knows everything she might learn at preschool, except for maybe following directions and sitting still, which I think are overrated anyway. :)

BUT, I have thought for quite some time that I would homeschool my children, and after talking with some homeschooling families, and reading THIS book(which I recommend if you have even the slightest thought that you might want to homeschool), my husband and I are confident that homeschooling is a path we want to pursue.

With that in mind, I must admit that I worry that I'll be able to be dedicated enough to teach my kids at home. I certainly don't want any major gaps in their education. And I want them to become thinkers, and to pursue what they are passionate about. I want to have adventures and to learn through real-life experiences. I want our learning to be genuine, and not forced by some politicians who know little about children and nothing about education (don't get me started on the politics of public ed right now, it's a downward spiral).

For October, our theme is Autumn. I'm excited to see where it takes us. I do want to outline a daily rhythm that is fairly flexible, and I'm excited to see how that pans out, especially with three children. I'm trying to be organized, but not to let that take away from any spontaneity that should occur through our learning together. I am sure the only way I will survive is if I have an outline of how I'd like things to go, but I must be willing to let that go (especially due to a hungry baby, a cold, lack of sleep, or any of the things that tend to mess up "schedules" when you have three kids 3 and under.)

The books we plan to read:

Leaf Man and Red Leaf, Yellow Leaf, by Lois Ehlert
The Apple Pie Tree, by Zoe Hall
Leaves Fall Down; Learning about Autumn Leaves by Lisa Marie Bullard

Are there any other Fall-ish books that you suggest for my little ones?

The songs we plan to sing:

My Montessori Journey typed up songs that go perfectly with our theme. I'm so excited to sing these with my girls!

Other skills we plan to learn:
Sight words the, a, and, see
Counting to 100

Gospel concepts to learn:
We Believe in God, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost

Social Skills to practice:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Any ideas for this one? :)

Weary

Our sweet baby was born 3 weeks ago. We are SO in love with her.

But we're also exhausted. It seems that adding 1 little person to our family has quadrupled our "to-do list" and exponentially increased our fatigue.

Tonight I was preparing this Sunday School lesson for the 12-13 year olds that I teach and came across this familiar scripture:

D&C 64:33-34
33 Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.

34 Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in these last days.

I needed this reminder. I may be weary as a mama of 3, but I am laying the foundation of a great work! These little people depend on me for almost everything, but if I am willing to rely on the Lord and be patient with them, and with myself, then I will see great rewards! I'm weary, but these small things I'm doing will bring about great things!

Things to read Thursday #5: manners

I've thought a lot lately about how to teach my children courtesy, social skills, and manners. Here are a few books I love!

1. Cookies: Bite sized life lessons by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. Make some cookies with your little ones and sit down to enjoy this book. I even have a copy if you want to borrow it! :)

2. D.W.'s guide to perfect manners by Marc Brown. My gals LOVE D.W.! This is a cute book that has motivated my 3-year-old to try and be "perfect." It goes over basic manners and helping out around the house! Love it!

3. Bears on Chairs by Shirley Parenteau A cute story about how bears work together to solve a problem. Great discussions on sharing can ensue.

In my opinion, manners and courtesy are things that need to be taught explicitly. You have to PRACTICE and MODEL, MODEL, MODEL for your kids!! Discuss every situation and ask questions that can help them figure out what to do!

More ideas:

Anticipate situations where your child may not act in a polite way. Birthday parties can be difficult for small children, especially siblings of the birthday kid. Some kids have a hard time when other kids are getting attention. Act it out beforehand. Play "Birthday Party" and have kids give each other "presents" (we wrap ours in blankets) and practice being glad for each other when another child gets a present. Do the same thing and have the present opener practice gratitude for the gift. We do this in a scripted way. The present opener must look the giver in the eye, say their name, and say "thank you for the gift." Practice makes perfect!

I've started giving my preschooler "do-overs." When she speaks in a tone of voice that is not polite, I say "Why don't you try that again?" Because we've talked about it, she knows that whining or yelling is not appropriate. We don't even yell "Please get me a drink." Tone is important.

A great article on teaching generosity.

Discuss actions of the characters in books you read and movies you watch. For example, Woody in Toy Story does not use kind words or a kind tone. Get your child thinking about it. Don't worry that bringing it up will make them copy the behavior. Set firm limits. "Shut-up you idiot" is not something we say to people.

Praise! Praise! PRAISE! Try and notice every time your child uses good manners, is polite, is generous, and praise them!

Write thank-you notes for everything! Gifts, play-dates, or other special things need to be acknowledged and is a great way to teach your child gratitude.

Keep a family gratitude journal. Brainstorm things as a family once a week, or more!

Baby quilt! TADA!

Here is the front of my baby's quilt. Just need to quilt and bind! I love the green, yellow, and blue.

Sorry the pic isn't awesome. Camera phone...

Birth

It's funny. With my first daughter, I really wanted to have a natural birth. I think I was partly scared of having a big needle stuck in my back. I also didn't want surgery. I ended up with pitocin, an epidural, pushing for two hours, and feeling oh-so-grateful when she finally came out (thanks to the doc pushing on the top of my stomach.)

I've learned a lot since then. When preparing for the birth of my 2nd baby girl, I went a little crazy with the research. I was VERY intellectually prepared to have her. And I WAS going to do it naturally. Because that's what good moms do. And I didn't really enjoy the feeling of helplessness with DD1's birth. I wanted to GIVE birth, not just lay there feeling nothing until it was time to purple push and hopefully get a baby out!

But then I actually gave birth. And boy, did I feel it! Labor was fine, but pushing DD2 out was definitely painful. And I remember the fantasies I had about a peaceful birth being completely crushed. No wonder most women choose not to feel it! At that point I wasn't sure I would ever have a natural birth again!

Well, now DD3's birth is imminent! She's coming! Am I ready? What am I going to do? With this birth, my main goal is to have no regrets. I plan an unmedicated birth in a hospital. I have a great midwife who is amazing, and who has helped me prepare mentally and emotionally. (I've been prepared intellectually for a while!)

But sometimes I still catch myself thinking that all women should give birth naturally. I know this is wrong. A woman should have a baby however she wants. I thought this post explained, in a powerful way, that giving birth may not actually be the defining point in a woman's life as a mother! What a great perspective.

So I guess the point of this post is for me to share that birth is wonderful. Powerful. Beautiful. But I look forward to it more as a gateway to bringing another person into our family rather than a transforming, life-changing moment in and of itself. Of course birth transforms you, but I will not feel guilty if my birth isn't the spiritual amazing event that some women describe. I know that once I am holding my new daughter in my arms, I'll be holding a little bit of heaven. And that is enough!

Things to read Thursday #4

Im typing this from my iPod, so I won't be including links.

I've been thinking about some books that have changed my life and motivated me. So, starting with the most influential, I provide you with a list of 5 non-fiction books that every person should read.

1. The Book of Mormon

2. Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover (wish I'd read it 5 years earlier!)

3. Hence Goer's The Thinking Woman's Guide to a better birth. Even if you aren't a woman, or arent pregnant, this book has startling implications for health care in America! What's that? Doctors actually perform procedures for mOney or convenience and not because it is best for the patient?! No!

4. Taking charge of your fertility. How many people actually understand the dynamics of a Woman's cycle. Men should read this too!

5. The China Study by Colin Campbell. Re-think everything you think you know about nutrition!

Things to read Thursday #3

Theme: Rhyme Time

We love nursery rhymes over here, and Dr. Suess is, of course, a big hit (although I made the mistake of checking out Hunches in Bunches once. Oh, how I despised that book, and of course DD1 loved it!)

Anyway, here are my top pics for fun picture books for the kiddies:

1. One fish, Two fish, red fish, blue fish, by Dr. Suess.

2. There was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Boot by Linda Smith, illustrated by Jane Manning

3. Tomie DePaola's Baa Baa Black Sheep. Both of my girls love this one, and I enjoy his illustrations. He has a great book about popcorn, but I'll save that for another post.

4. Anything by Jack Prelutsky or X.J.Kennedy. Great kid's poets!

Personally, I am a huge fan of Emily Dickinson, so I reccommend any of her poetry!

And here's a great Sci-Fi for young adults and older:
The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer. I LOVE this book. That's all I will say because you should just read it!

Whit's Jewels

My sister Whit and her hubs recently moved to "Misery" to begin med school. She has a talent for crafting beautiful jewelry and is hoping to use her hobby to make ends meet so she can finish her LPN degree. Check out her site. Buy some jewelry! :)
http://whitsjewels.weebly.com/

Baby quilt.

I have been looking for a while for an easy baby quilt pattern. I want to make this little girl I'm having her own baby quilt. I found this pattern, and I can't wait to get started.

I bought some material a while ago in bright green, yellow, and dark blue. I will post pictures of how it turns out! :) 4-5 more weeks until she gets here!

The truth about OCD

I have been wanting to post about this for some time. This post is meant to inform, not criticize.

Last week I was thinking about depression and anxiety disorders. Many people I know are under the impression that 1) depression and anxiety are "all in your head," and/or 2) depression/anxiety are embarassing problems that should be kept private. Why is it that we feel the need to hide mental disorders? Why is it that, if diagnosed with cancer, people will share that news in order to find support and strength, but upon realizing they suffer from a disease that can be so debilitating, they choose to suffer in silence?

Well, I'm breaking the silence. I have OCD.

My diagnosis came as a huge relief, about five years ago. I had been struggling with obsessive thoughts and was starting to worry that I was truly psychotic. The resulting depression was difficult to handle, and it was only a couple of weeks before I sought help, in the form of scheduling an appointment with a therapist at the university I attended.

As I discussed what was going on with the therapist, it became quickly apparent to her that I had OCD. She reassured me that I wasn't psychotic and explained her diagnosis. Talk about instant relief!

Today I came across an article on Babycenter.com, and I wanted to share their definition of OCD, because I feel that it is concise and captures how debilitating Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be.

OCD sufferers see danger everywhere, leading them to wash their hands until they are raw or check their door locks incessantly. Some also perform ritualistic behaviors to protect themselves from having bad thoughts. They may hide the knives or avoid the kitchen in an effort to ward off thoughts of harming the baby. Some women may avoid basic care, refusing to bathe their baby out of fear of thoughts about death by drowning. Unlike moms with postpartum psychosis (PPP) women with postpartum OCD are repulsed by these thoughts of harming their baby and know not to act on them.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to act on these thoughts, seek professional help immediately. You may have what's known as postpartum psychosis, a severe yet rare illness characterized by hallucinations, bizarre thinking, paranoia, mania, delusions, and suicidal impulses. PPP requires immediate medical intervention because of the increased risk of suicide for the mother and harm to the baby.

Now, I don't want to hurt any feelings, but if we focus on semantics, then we shouldn't say "Oh, I'm so OCD, I just can't stand it when the pillows are crooked." Please don't use the term "OCD" in this way, as it is medically incorrect and minimalizes the true anxiety and depression that OCD sufferers deal with.

If you have to have things "just so," or can't stand it when there is the slightest clutter because it messes with your fung shui, then just tell yourself you're anal retentive and you should probably not let it bother you.

Here is what Wikipedia has to say about OCD: Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety, or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. Symptoms of the disorder include excessive washing or cleaning; repeated checking; extreme hoarding; preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts; aversion to particular numbers; and nervous rituals, such as opening and closing a door a certain number of times before entering or leaving a room. These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoid and potentially psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their obsessions and compulsions as irrational, and may become further distressed by this realization.

I also found out that there are nearly as many people diagnosed with OCD as with asthma or Diabetes meletus.

I've had a couple "relapses" with my OCD. I don't need to tell you the particular thoughts that cause me severe anxiety. However, I can say that no amount of telling myself that these thoughts are irrational does any good. I just have to "ride the wave" of the thoughts, or even force myself to think them until my anxiety lessens.

The way OCD was described to me by my therapist was this: People with OCD, for some reason, don't have the same filter in their brain to intrusive thought. A normal person can think "Oh, what if I drove in to oncoming traffic?" and there would be no problem. They can filter that thought right out. But someone with OCD becomes so anxious about the thought that they replay the scene in their mind until it causes so much fear and tension. They have to react with certain "rituals" in order to cope with the anxiety.

I personally don't have "rituals" that I perform. On a scale of 1-10 my OCD is probably a 3 at worst. But it is something I deal with in my life.

Do you or someone you know suffer from anxiety or depression?