My faith

I'm a Mormon.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Mommy melt-down

Yesterday I almost called my mom and begged her to come get me and let me stay at her house for the week. But I couldn't. There are lots of reasons.

Because I'm the Mommy, and I'm not supposed to wish I wasn't the Mommy...ever!

Because being a Mommy is the best job in the universe. How can I explain to people who long to have this job that it isn't peachy 100% of the time?

Because Mommies aren't supposed to need their Mommy.

Because I labor under the delusion that I have to try and be "Super Mommy" all the time.

Because I felt guilty for wanting a break from Mommyhood.

Because I convinced myself that since I'm going to my Mom's on Thursday I should just stick it out.

Because my house was a disaster and if I left, no one would clean it up.

Because instead I just cried. My sweet girl asked "Mommy sad?" Luckily she knows what being sad feels like, so she was the perfect person to comfort me.

I really DO love my job, but I think, especially with how young my kids are, I've got to find a balance between trying to be the "perfect" mom, and taking time for myself so that I have something left to give my children. Sometimes I get caught up in worrying that if I do one thing "wrong," then my children will be irreversably messed up. When those thoughts come I fail to remember that I am not alone in this challenge of motherhood. In fact, my best ally is the source of all wisdom, strength, and love.

So tomorrow, when I'm tired of laundry (which I DID wash, but DIDN'T fold today), screaming babies, or reading "Alice the Fairy," I will take a deep breath, say a prayer, and maybe just call my mommy.

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