My faith

I'm a Mormon.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

I get knocked down...

...But I haven't gotten up again.

OK, so this having three kids 3 and under is really a challenge right now. Preschool? Non-existent. Sanity? Hanging by a thread. Sleep? Yes, please!

Blogging? NO time!!

Yes, I'm blogging right now, only to explain why I probably won't blog for a while. I'm struggling to find joy in motherhood. I never thought I would wonder "why did I have kids?" But to be brutally honest, that thought has crossed my mind lately. This is HARD!! There are a lot of things I'm having to let go of. I realized lately that homeschooling was causing me a lot of stress deep down, even though I'm not even doing it yet. So I've let go of that. If I can homeschool later, I will. But if I need to send my kids to public school, that will be wonderful too. I'm learning to accept what I can do, to focus on my kids as much as possible, and to LET GO of things that don't matter in the grand scheme.

Someday I'll blog again. But right now, I've got to stick with the essentials. :)


Michemily said...

You go Crystal! I know you don't always feel it, but I can see that you are a wonderful mother. The girls and Stuart . I've been kind of randomly remembering (maybe one could say "being inspired") to pray for you during my personal prayers each day. All the best of luck to you. I know you'll make it and learn to love it even during the tough times.

Michemily said...

Whoops, I didn't finish that one sentence somehow. It should have read "are lucky to have you."

Becky said...

I think you are a great mom and I can only imagine how it is with three kids! As for home school, I occasionally consider it, but just today I drove by an elementary school and saw all the kids out playing at recess. It made me reflect fondly on my childhood days, and I kind of look forward to when my kids can run around in those big school groups. Sorry your van isn't working so well--maybe you can go on short walks whenever the weather isn't too cold! I miss you!