My faith

I'm a Mormon.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Baby quilt! TADA!

Here is the front of my baby's quilt. Just need to quilt and bind! I love the green, yellow, and blue.

Sorry the pic isn't awesome. Camera phone...


It's funny. With my first daughter, I really wanted to have a natural birth. I think I was partly scared of having a big needle stuck in my back. I also didn't want surgery. I ended up with pitocin, an epidural, pushing for two hours, and feeling oh-so-grateful when she finally came out (thanks to the doc pushing on the top of my stomach.)

I've learned a lot since then. When preparing for the birth of my 2nd baby girl, I went a little crazy with the research. I was VERY intellectually prepared to have her. And I WAS going to do it naturally. Because that's what good moms do. And I didn't really enjoy the feeling of helplessness with DD1's birth. I wanted to GIVE birth, not just lay there feeling nothing until it was time to purple push and hopefully get a baby out!

But then I actually gave birth. And boy, did I feel it! Labor was fine, but pushing DD2 out was definitely painful. And I remember the fantasies I had about a peaceful birth being completely crushed. No wonder most women choose not to feel it! At that point I wasn't sure I would ever have a natural birth again!

Well, now DD3's birth is imminent! She's coming! Am I ready? What am I going to do? With this birth, my main goal is to have no regrets. I plan an unmedicated birth in a hospital. I have a great midwife who is amazing, and who has helped me prepare mentally and emotionally. (I've been prepared intellectually for a while!)

But sometimes I still catch myself thinking that all women should give birth naturally. I know this is wrong. A woman should have a baby however she wants. I thought this post explained, in a powerful way, that giving birth may not actually be the defining point in a woman's life as a mother! What a great perspective.

So I guess the point of this post is for me to share that birth is wonderful. Powerful. Beautiful. But I look forward to it more as a gateway to bringing another person into our family rather than a transforming, life-changing moment in and of itself. Of course birth transforms you, but I will not feel guilty if my birth isn't the spiritual amazing event that some women describe. I know that once I am holding my new daughter in my arms, I'll be holding a little bit of heaven. And that is enough!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Things to read Thursday #4

Im typing this from my iPod, so I won't be including links.

I've been thinking about some books that have changed my life and motivated me. So, starting with the most influential, I provide you with a list of 5 non-fiction books that every person should read.

1. The Book of Mormon

2. Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover (wish I'd read it 5 years earlier!)

3. Hence Goer's The Thinking Woman's Guide to a better birth. Even if you aren't a woman, or arent pregnant, this book has startling implications for health care in America! What's that? Doctors actually perform procedures for mOney or convenience and not because it is best for the patient?! No!

4. Taking charge of your fertility. How many people actually understand the dynamics of a Woman's cycle. Men should read this too!

5. The China Study by Colin Campbell. Re-think everything you think you know about nutrition!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Things to read Thursday #3

Theme: Rhyme Time

We love nursery rhymes over here, and Dr. Suess is, of course, a big hit (although I made the mistake of checking out Hunches in Bunches once. Oh, how I despised that book, and of course DD1 loved it!)

Anyway, here are my top pics for fun picture books for the kiddies:

1. One fish, Two fish, red fish, blue fish, by Dr. Suess.

2. There was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Boot by Linda Smith, illustrated by Jane Manning

3. Tomie DePaola's Baa Baa Black Sheep. Both of my girls love this one, and I enjoy his illustrations. He has a great book about popcorn, but I'll save that for another post.

4. Anything by Jack Prelutsky or X.J.Kennedy. Great kid's poets!

Personally, I am a huge fan of Emily Dickinson, so I reccommend any of her poetry!

And here's a great Sci-Fi for young adults and older:
The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer. I LOVE this book. That's all I will say because you should just read it!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Whit's Jewels

My sister Whit and her hubs recently moved to "Misery" to begin med school. She has a talent for crafting beautiful jewelry and is hoping to use her hobby to make ends meet so she can finish her LPN degree. Check out her site. Buy some jewelry! :)

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Baby quilt.

I have been looking for a while for an easy baby quilt pattern. I want to make this little girl I'm having her own baby quilt. I found this pattern, and I can't wait to get started.

I bought some material a while ago in bright green, yellow, and dark blue. I will post pictures of how it turns out! :) 4-5 more weeks until she gets here!

Friday, July 15, 2011

The truth about OCD

I have been wanting to post about this for some time. This post is meant to inform, not criticize.

Last week I was thinking about depression and anxiety disorders. Many people I know are under the impression that 1) depression and anxiety are "all in your head," and/or 2) depression/anxiety are embarassing problems that should be kept private. Why is it that we feel the need to hide mental disorders? Why is it that, if diagnosed with cancer, people will share that news in order to find support and strength, but upon realizing they suffer from a disease that can be so debilitating, they choose to suffer in silence?

Well, I'm breaking the silence. I have OCD.

My diagnosis came as a huge relief, about five years ago. I had been struggling with obsessive thoughts and was starting to worry that I was truly psychotic. The resulting depression was difficult to handle, and it was only a couple of weeks before I sought help, in the form of scheduling an appointment with a therapist at the university I attended.

As I discussed what was going on with the therapist, it became quickly apparent to her that I had OCD. She reassured me that I wasn't psychotic and explained her diagnosis. Talk about instant relief!

Today I came across an article on, and I wanted to share their definition of OCD, because I feel that it is concise and captures how debilitating Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be.

OCD sufferers see danger everywhere, leading them to wash their hands until they are raw or check their door locks incessantly. Some also perform ritualistic behaviors to protect themselves from having bad thoughts. They may hide the knives or avoid the kitchen in an effort to ward off thoughts of harming the baby. Some women may avoid basic care, refusing to bathe their baby out of fear of thoughts about death by drowning. Unlike moms with postpartum psychosis (PPP) women with postpartum OCD are repulsed by these thoughts of harming their baby and know not to act on them.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to act on these thoughts, seek professional help immediately. You may have what's known as postpartum psychosis, a severe yet rare illness characterized by hallucinations, bizarre thinking, paranoia, mania, delusions, and suicidal impulses. PPP requires immediate medical intervention because of the increased risk of suicide for the mother and harm to the baby.

Now, I don't want to hurt any feelings, but if we focus on semantics, then we shouldn't say "Oh, I'm so OCD, I just can't stand it when the pillows are crooked." Please don't use the term "OCD" in this way, as it is medically incorrect and minimalizes the true anxiety and depression that OCD sufferers deal with.

If you have to have things "just so," or can't stand it when there is the slightest clutter because it messes with your fung shui, then just tell yourself you're anal retentive and you should probably not let it bother you.

Here is what Wikipedia has to say about OCD: Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety, or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. Symptoms of the disorder include excessive washing or cleaning; repeated checking; extreme hoarding; preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts; aversion to particular numbers; and nervous rituals, such as opening and closing a door a certain number of times before entering or leaving a room. These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoid and potentially psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their obsessions and compulsions as irrational, and may become further distressed by this realization.

I also found out that there are nearly as many people diagnosed with OCD as with asthma or Diabetes meletus.

I've had a couple "relapses" with my OCD. I don't need to tell you the particular thoughts that cause me severe anxiety. However, I can say that no amount of telling myself that these thoughts are irrational does any good. I just have to "ride the wave" of the thoughts, or even force myself to think them until my anxiety lessens.

The way OCD was described to me by my therapist was this: People with OCD, for some reason, don't have the same filter in their brain to intrusive thought. A normal person can think "Oh, what if I drove in to oncoming traffic?" and there would be no problem. They can filter that thought right out. But someone with OCD becomes so anxious about the thought that they replay the scene in their mind until it causes so much fear and tension. They have to react with certain "rituals" in order to cope with the anxiety.

I personally don't have "rituals" that I perform. On a scale of 1-10 my OCD is probably a 3 at worst. But it is something I deal with in my life.

Do you or someone you know suffer from anxiety or depression?

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Things to read Thursday #2

It's been a long long time!

Here are my book picks for this week, along with activities:
Theme: Butterflies

Picture Book: Fancy Nancy: Bonjour, Butterfly by Jane O'connor, illustrated by Robin Preiss Glasser
Maybe not the best pick if you haven't got a little girl.
1. Create your own butterfly ballet
2. Butterfly art
3. Visit a butterfly garden
4. Have abutterfly party and have your little one write or illustrate the invites.
5. If you're into printables.

My three-year-old got really into reading about butterflies after Bonjour Butterfly, so we checked out a bunch of non-fiction butterfly books from the library. This one was our favorite, due to the rhyming, simple concepts, and fun pictures.
Non-fiction My, Oh My--A Butterfly!: All About Butterflies (Cat in the Hat's Learning Library)
1. Go on a butterfly scavenger hunt.
2. Go on a nature walk and use a stick as a probicus to "sip" nectar from flower.
3. Leave a comment with an idea you did!

If you have older kids who like to experiment try this book: Pets in a Jar by Seymour Simon

Check out this list of butterfly picture books!

5-6 weeks until my baby comes, still limited computer access. Hopefully I can post more regularly!