My faith
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
What God gave me time for.
Before I had children, I promised myself I'd never be the mother who asked "Why did I ever want children?" but sometimes I find myself thinking "I don't want to do this anymore." It's kind of like the feeling I had toward the end of labor with my last two children. I was exhausted. Mentally, physically, and emotionally spent. That time in labor is called "transition." I also sometimes experience that feeling during a run. I just. Don't. Want. To. Keep. Going.
But with labor, there was only one alternative: have the baby. What a glorious reward for my pain and struggle! And I know that I always feel great after a run. I feel strong. I feel like I can do anything.
Motherhood is a little different. Frequently I find myself struggling along, wondering how I'm supposed to do a good job at all the necessary tasks, and I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of laundry. I used to think all the laundry jokes were exaggerated. They are not. When things get hard, when I feel like throwing in the towel, it's hard to see the silver lining. When, oh when will this end? When will my four-year-old stop whining? When will my 2-year-old stop screaming? And when will my baby start sleeping through the night?
I've had a lot of days recently where I'm changing 4 diapers an hour, staying up all night with one child or another, and dealing with tantrums, meltdowns, kids not sharing, not to mention trying to keep up with housework (which is just not happening right now!)
This morning, after changing yet another diaper, when I found myself thinking "I don't want to do this anymore," the next thought I had was "but what would I do instead?"
And then I realized that I wouldn't trade all the hugs and kisses, all the smiles and giggles, or even all the mundane or frustrating tasks, for anything else in the world. After all, this is what God gave me time for.
My three sweet children:
But with labor, there was only one alternative: have the baby. What a glorious reward for my pain and struggle! And I know that I always feel great after a run. I feel strong. I feel like I can do anything.
Motherhood is a little different. Frequently I find myself struggling along, wondering how I'm supposed to do a good job at all the necessary tasks, and I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of laundry. I used to think all the laundry jokes were exaggerated. They are not. When things get hard, when I feel like throwing in the towel, it's hard to see the silver lining. When, oh when will this end? When will my four-year-old stop whining? When will my 2-year-old stop screaming? And when will my baby start sleeping through the night?
I've had a lot of days recently where I'm changing 4 diapers an hour, staying up all night with one child or another, and dealing with tantrums, meltdowns, kids not sharing, not to mention trying to keep up with housework (which is just not happening right now!)
This morning, after changing yet another diaper, when I found myself thinking "I don't want to do this anymore," the next thought I had was "but what would I do instead?"
And then I realized that I wouldn't trade all the hugs and kisses, all the smiles and giggles, or even all the mundane or frustrating tasks, for anything else in the world. After all, this is what God gave me time for.
My three sweet children:
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Teaching the Doctrine of the Family
This speech from Julie Beck, who is the General Relief Society President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is an essential read!
A few gems:
President J. Reuben Clark Jr. said, “Your chief
interest, your essential and all but sole duty, is
to teach the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ as
that has been revealed in these latter
days” (“The Charted Course of the Church in
Education” [address to seminary and institute
of religion leaders, Aug. 8, 1938]
We know, from visiting with [the youth] and
conducting studies, that they show a lack of
faith in their ability to be successful in families.
They don’t see forming families as a faith-based
work. For them, it’s a selection process much
like shopping. They don’t see it as something
that the Lord will bless them and help them to
accomplish. They also distrust their own moral
strength and the moral strength of their peers.
Because temptations are so fierce, they aren’t
sure they can be successful in keeping
covenants. They also have insufficient and
underdeveloped social skills, which are an
impediment to them in forming eternal families
A lot of the antifamily messages that you are
hearing are targeting young women. Satan
knows that he will never have a body; he will
never have a family. He will target those young
women who create the bodies for the future
generations and who should teach the families.
They don’t even know what they’re being
taught in the messages. It’s just seeping in,
almost through their pores. Because Satan can’t
have it, he’s luring away many women, and
also men, and they’re losing confidence in their
ability to form eternal families.
Oftentimes with young adults I’ll tell the story
about the day my husband and I were married.
We had three dollars. Even worldwide, that’s
not very much money nowadays. It was a faithbased work when we got married. We didn’t
get married because of money, or because our
education was complete, or because we even
had a place to live. We lived with Grandpa and
took care of him for the first season of our
marriage. We went to school and worked hard,
but we entered that relationship as a faith-based
work. We knew that we had made a covenant
with the Lord and that He would bless us. It
didn’t take money; it took faith. Those are
messages they need to have and get confidence
in because of you.
A few gems:
President J. Reuben Clark Jr. said, “Your chief
interest, your essential and all but sole duty, is
to teach the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ as
that has been revealed in these latter
days” (“The Charted Course of the Church in
Education” [address to seminary and institute
of religion leaders, Aug. 8, 1938]
We know, from visiting with [the youth] and
conducting studies, that they show a lack of
faith in their ability to be successful in families.
They don’t see forming families as a faith-based
work. For them, it’s a selection process much
like shopping. They don’t see it as something
that the Lord will bless them and help them to
accomplish. They also distrust their own moral
strength and the moral strength of their peers.
Because temptations are so fierce, they aren’t
sure they can be successful in keeping
covenants. They also have insufficient and
underdeveloped social skills, which are an
impediment to them in forming eternal families
A lot of the antifamily messages that you are
hearing are targeting young women. Satan
knows that he will never have a body; he will
never have a family. He will target those young
women who create the bodies for the future
generations and who should teach the families.
They don’t even know what they’re being
taught in the messages. It’s just seeping in,
almost through their pores. Because Satan can’t
have it, he’s luring away many women, and
also men, and they’re losing confidence in their
ability to form eternal families.
Oftentimes with young adults I’ll tell the story
about the day my husband and I were married.
We had three dollars. Even worldwide, that’s
not very much money nowadays. It was a faithbased work when we got married. We didn’t
get married because of money, or because our
education was complete, or because we even
had a place to live. We lived with Grandpa and
took care of him for the first season of our
marriage. We went to school and worked hard,
but we entered that relationship as a faith-based
work. We knew that we had made a covenant
with the Lord and that He would bless us. It
didn’t take money; it took faith. Those are
messages they need to have and get confidence
in because of you.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Things we do.
I adore Pinterest. What a great way to find and organize ideas! The big problem, however, is actually accomplishing any of these ideas. Starting this week, my almost-four-year-old looked at Pinterest together in order to find 5 activities we could do together. I'm finally feeling like a normal human being since baby #3 was born, and we also have a computer now (YAY!), so although I'm not making any promises to myself, I want to blog about the things we do, at least so I can add them to Pinterest.
One activity we chose was to make butterflies with toilet paper rolls. Ours turned out really cute, using some old scrapbook paper, googly eyes, and foam stickers cut to make a nose and mouth.
(I had to add this picture of my preschooler, in her princess attire, with her pouty face. She has been so pouty today!)
One activity we chose was to make butterflies with toilet paper rolls. Ours turned out really cute, using some old scrapbook paper, googly eyes, and foam stickers cut to make a nose and mouth.
(I had to add this picture of my preschooler, in her princess attire, with her pouty face. She has been so pouty today!)
Saturday, October 29, 2011
I get knocked down...
...But I haven't gotten up again.
OK, so this having three kids 3 and under is really a challenge right now. Preschool? Non-existent. Sanity? Hanging by a thread. Sleep? Yes, please!
Blogging? NO time!!
Yes, I'm blogging right now, only to explain why I probably won't blog for a while. I'm struggling to find joy in motherhood. I never thought I would wonder "why did I have kids?" But to be brutally honest, that thought has crossed my mind lately. This is HARD!! There are a lot of things I'm having to let go of. I realized lately that homeschooling was causing me a lot of stress deep down, even though I'm not even doing it yet. So I've let go of that. If I can homeschool later, I will. But if I need to send my kids to public school, that will be wonderful too. I'm learning to accept what I can do, to focus on my kids as much as possible, and to LET GO of things that don't matter in the grand scheme.
Someday I'll blog again. But right now, I've got to stick with the essentials. :)
OK, so this having three kids 3 and under is really a challenge right now. Preschool? Non-existent. Sanity? Hanging by a thread. Sleep? Yes, please!
Blogging? NO time!!
Yes, I'm blogging right now, only to explain why I probably won't blog for a while. I'm struggling to find joy in motherhood. I never thought I would wonder "why did I have kids?" But to be brutally honest, that thought has crossed my mind lately. This is HARD!! There are a lot of things I'm having to let go of. I realized lately that homeschooling was causing me a lot of stress deep down, even though I'm not even doing it yet. So I've let go of that. If I can homeschool later, I will. But if I need to send my kids to public school, that will be wonderful too. I'm learning to accept what I can do, to focus on my kids as much as possible, and to LET GO of things that don't matter in the grand scheme.
Someday I'll blog again. But right now, I've got to stick with the essentials. :)
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Starting preschool.
All of my friend's with children DD1's age seem to be sending their kids to preschool. In fact, we are often asked where she goes to preschool. She doesn't. And she won't. In fact, she already knows everything she might learn at preschool, except for maybe following directions and sitting still, which I think are overrated anyway. :)
BUT, I have thought for quite some time that I would homeschool my children, and after talking with some homeschooling families, and reading THIS book(which I recommend if you have even the slightest thought that you might want to homeschool), my husband and I are confident that homeschooling is a path we want to pursue.
With that in mind, I must admit that I worry that I'll be able to be dedicated enough to teach my kids at home. I certainly don't want any major gaps in their education. And I want them to become thinkers, and to pursue what they are passionate about. I want to have adventures and to learn through real-life experiences. I want our learning to be genuine, and not forced by some politicians who know little about children and nothing about education (don't get me started on the politics of public ed right now, it's a downward spiral).
For October, our theme is Autumn. I'm excited to see where it takes us. I do want to outline a daily rhythm that is fairly flexible, and I'm excited to see how that pans out, especially with three children. I'm trying to be organized, but not to let that take away from any spontaneity that should occur through our learning together. I am sure the only way I will survive is if I have an outline of how I'd like things to go, but I must be willing to let that go (especially due to a hungry baby, a cold, lack of sleep, or any of the things that tend to mess up "schedules" when you have three kids 3 and under.)
The books we plan to read:
Leaf Man and Red Leaf, Yellow Leaf, by Lois Ehlert
The Apple Pie Tree, by Zoe Hall
Leaves Fall Down; Learning about Autumn Leaves by Lisa Marie Bullard
Are there any other Fall-ish books that you suggest for my little ones?
The songs we plan to sing:
My Montessori Journey typed up songs that go perfectly with our theme. I'm so excited to sing these with my girls!
Other skills we plan to learn:
Sight words the, a, and, see
Counting to 100
Gospel concepts to learn:
We Believe in God, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost
Social Skills to practice:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Any ideas for this one? :)
BUT, I have thought for quite some time that I would homeschool my children, and after talking with some homeschooling families, and reading THIS book(which I recommend if you have even the slightest thought that you might want to homeschool), my husband and I are confident that homeschooling is a path we want to pursue.
With that in mind, I must admit that I worry that I'll be able to be dedicated enough to teach my kids at home. I certainly don't want any major gaps in their education. And I want them to become thinkers, and to pursue what they are passionate about. I want to have adventures and to learn through real-life experiences. I want our learning to be genuine, and not forced by some politicians who know little about children and nothing about education (don't get me started on the politics of public ed right now, it's a downward spiral).
For October, our theme is Autumn. I'm excited to see where it takes us. I do want to outline a daily rhythm that is fairly flexible, and I'm excited to see how that pans out, especially with three children. I'm trying to be organized, but not to let that take away from any spontaneity that should occur through our learning together. I am sure the only way I will survive is if I have an outline of how I'd like things to go, but I must be willing to let that go (especially due to a hungry baby, a cold, lack of sleep, or any of the things that tend to mess up "schedules" when you have three kids 3 and under.)
The books we plan to read:
Leaf Man and Red Leaf, Yellow Leaf, by Lois Ehlert
The Apple Pie Tree, by Zoe Hall
Leaves Fall Down; Learning about Autumn Leaves by Lisa Marie Bullard
Are there any other Fall-ish books that you suggest for my little ones?
The songs we plan to sing:
My Montessori Journey typed up songs that go perfectly with our theme. I'm so excited to sing these with my girls!
Other skills we plan to learn:
Sight words the, a, and, see
Counting to 100
Gospel concepts to learn:
We Believe in God, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost
Social Skills to practice:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Any ideas for this one? :)
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Weary
Our sweet baby was born 3 weeks ago. We are SO in love with her.
But we're also exhausted. It seems that adding 1 little person to our family has quadrupled our "to-do list" and exponentially increased our fatigue.
Tonight I was preparing this Sunday School lesson for the 12-13 year olds that I teach and came across this familiar scripture:
D&C 64:33-34
33 Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.
34 Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in these last days.
I needed this reminder. I may be weary as a mama of 3, but I am laying the foundation of a great work! These little people depend on me for almost everything, but if I am willing to rely on the Lord and be patient with them, and with myself, then I will see great rewards! I'm weary, but these small things I'm doing will bring about great things!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Things to read Thursday #5: manners
I've thought a lot lately about how to teach my children courtesy, social skills, and manners. Here are a few books I love!
1. Cookies: Bite sized life lessons by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. Make some cookies with your little ones and sit down to enjoy this book. I even have a copy if you want to borrow it! :)
2. D.W.'s guide to perfect manners by Marc Brown. My gals LOVE D.W.! This is a cute book that has motivated my 3-year-old to try and be "perfect." It goes over basic manners and helping out around the house! Love it!
3. Bears on Chairs by Shirley Parenteau A cute story about how bears work together to solve a problem. Great discussions on sharing can ensue.
In my opinion, manners and courtesy are things that need to be taught explicitly. You have to PRACTICE and MODEL, MODEL, MODEL for your kids!! Discuss every situation and ask questions that can help them figure out what to do!
More ideas:
Anticipate situations where your child may not act in a polite way. Birthday parties can be difficult for small children, especially siblings of the birthday kid. Some kids have a hard time when other kids are getting attention. Act it out beforehand. Play "Birthday Party" and have kids give each other "presents" (we wrap ours in blankets) and practice being glad for each other when another child gets a present. Do the same thing and have the present opener practice gratitude for the gift. We do this in a scripted way. The present opener must look the giver in the eye, say their name, and say "thank you for the gift." Practice makes perfect!
I've started giving my preschooler "do-overs." When she speaks in a tone of voice that is not polite, I say "Why don't you try that again?" Because we've talked about it, she knows that whining or yelling is not appropriate. We don't even yell "Please get me a drink." Tone is important.
A great article on teaching generosity.
Discuss actions of the characters in books you read and movies you watch. For example, Woody in Toy Story does not use kind words or a kind tone. Get your child thinking about it. Don't worry that bringing it up will make them copy the behavior. Set firm limits. "Shut-up you idiot" is not something we say to people.
Praise! Praise! PRAISE! Try and notice every time your child uses good manners, is polite, is generous, and praise them!
Write thank-you notes for everything! Gifts, play-dates, or other special things need to be acknowledged and is a great way to teach your child gratitude.
Keep a family gratitude journal. Brainstorm things as a family once a week, or more!
1. Cookies: Bite sized life lessons by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. Make some cookies with your little ones and sit down to enjoy this book. I even have a copy if you want to borrow it! :)
2. D.W.'s guide to perfect manners by Marc Brown. My gals LOVE D.W.! This is a cute book that has motivated my 3-year-old to try and be "perfect." It goes over basic manners and helping out around the house! Love it!
3. Bears on Chairs by Shirley Parenteau A cute story about how bears work together to solve a problem. Great discussions on sharing can ensue.
In my opinion, manners and courtesy are things that need to be taught explicitly. You have to PRACTICE and MODEL, MODEL, MODEL for your kids!! Discuss every situation and ask questions that can help them figure out what to do!
More ideas:
Anticipate situations where your child may not act in a polite way. Birthday parties can be difficult for small children, especially siblings of the birthday kid. Some kids have a hard time when other kids are getting attention. Act it out beforehand. Play "Birthday Party" and have kids give each other "presents" (we wrap ours in blankets) and practice being glad for each other when another child gets a present. Do the same thing and have the present opener practice gratitude for the gift. We do this in a scripted way. The present opener must look the giver in the eye, say their name, and say "thank you for the gift." Practice makes perfect!
I've started giving my preschooler "do-overs." When she speaks in a tone of voice that is not polite, I say "Why don't you try that again?" Because we've talked about it, she knows that whining or yelling is not appropriate. We don't even yell "Please get me a drink." Tone is important.
A great article on teaching generosity.
Discuss actions of the characters in books you read and movies you watch. For example, Woody in Toy Story does not use kind words or a kind tone. Get your child thinking about it. Don't worry that bringing it up will make them copy the behavior. Set firm limits. "Shut-up you idiot" is not something we say to people.
Praise! Praise! PRAISE! Try and notice every time your child uses good manners, is polite, is generous, and praise them!
Write thank-you notes for everything! Gifts, play-dates, or other special things need to be acknowledged and is a great way to teach your child gratitude.
Keep a family gratitude journal. Brainstorm things as a family once a week, or more!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Baby quilt! TADA!
Here is the front of my baby's quilt. Just need to quilt and bind! I love the green, yellow, and blue.
Sorry the pic isn't awesome. Camera phone...
Birth
It's funny. With my first daughter, I really wanted to have a natural birth. I think I was partly scared of having a big needle stuck in my back. I also didn't want surgery. I ended up with pitocin, an epidural, pushing for two hours, and feeling oh-so-grateful when she finally came out (thanks to the doc pushing on the top of my stomach.)
I've learned a lot since then. When preparing for the birth of my 2nd baby girl, I went a little crazy with the research. I was VERY intellectually prepared to have her. And I WAS going to do it naturally. Because that's what good moms do. And I didn't really enjoy the feeling of helplessness with DD1's birth. I wanted to GIVE birth, not just lay there feeling nothing until it was time to purple push and hopefully get a baby out!
But then I actually gave birth. And boy, did I feel it! Labor was fine, but pushing DD2 out was definitely painful. And I remember the fantasies I had about a peaceful birth being completely crushed. No wonder most women choose not to feel it! At that point I wasn't sure I would ever have a natural birth again!
Well, now DD3's birth is imminent! She's coming! Am I ready? What am I going to do? With this birth, my main goal is to have no regrets. I plan an unmedicated birth in a hospital. I have a great midwife who is amazing, and who has helped me prepare mentally and emotionally. (I've been prepared intellectually for a while!)
But sometimes I still catch myself thinking that all women should give birth naturally. I know this is wrong. A woman should have a baby however she wants. I thought this post explained, in a powerful way, that giving birth may not actually be the defining point in a woman's life as a mother! What a great perspective.
So I guess the point of this post is for me to share that birth is wonderful. Powerful. Beautiful. But I look forward to it more as a gateway to bringing another person into our family rather than a transforming, life-changing moment in and of itself. Of course birth transforms you, but I will not feel guilty if my birth isn't the spiritual amazing event that some women describe. I know that once I am holding my new daughter in my arms, I'll be holding a little bit of heaven. And that is enough!
I've learned a lot since then. When preparing for the birth of my 2nd baby girl, I went a little crazy with the research. I was VERY intellectually prepared to have her. And I WAS going to do it naturally. Because that's what good moms do. And I didn't really enjoy the feeling of helplessness with DD1's birth. I wanted to GIVE birth, not just lay there feeling nothing until it was time to purple push and hopefully get a baby out!
But then I actually gave birth. And boy, did I feel it! Labor was fine, but pushing DD2 out was definitely painful. And I remember the fantasies I had about a peaceful birth being completely crushed. No wonder most women choose not to feel it! At that point I wasn't sure I would ever have a natural birth again!
Well, now DD3's birth is imminent! She's coming! Am I ready? What am I going to do? With this birth, my main goal is to have no regrets. I plan an unmedicated birth in a hospital. I have a great midwife who is amazing, and who has helped me prepare mentally and emotionally. (I've been prepared intellectually for a while!)
But sometimes I still catch myself thinking that all women should give birth naturally. I know this is wrong. A woman should have a baby however she wants. I thought this post explained, in a powerful way, that giving birth may not actually be the defining point in a woman's life as a mother! What a great perspective.
So I guess the point of this post is for me to share that birth is wonderful. Powerful. Beautiful. But I look forward to it more as a gateway to bringing another person into our family rather than a transforming, life-changing moment in and of itself. Of course birth transforms you, but I will not feel guilty if my birth isn't the spiritual amazing event that some women describe. I know that once I am holding my new daughter in my arms, I'll be holding a little bit of heaven. And that is enough!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Things to read Thursday #4
Im typing this from my iPod, so I won't be including links.
I've been thinking about some books that have changed my life and motivated me. So, starting with the most influential, I provide you with a list of 5 non-fiction books that every person should read.
1. The Book of Mormon
2. Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover (wish I'd read it 5 years earlier!)
3. Hence Goer's The Thinking Woman's Guide to a better birth. Even if you aren't a woman, or arent pregnant, this book has startling implications for health care in America! What's that? Doctors actually perform procedures for mOney or convenience and not because it is best for the patient?! No!
4. Taking charge of your fertility. How many people actually understand the dynamics of a Woman's cycle. Men should read this too!
5. The China Study by Colin Campbell. Re-think everything you think you know about nutrition!
I've been thinking about some books that have changed my life and motivated me. So, starting with the most influential, I provide you with a list of 5 non-fiction books that every person should read.
1. The Book of Mormon
2. Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover (wish I'd read it 5 years earlier!)
3. Hence Goer's The Thinking Woman's Guide to a better birth. Even if you aren't a woman, or arent pregnant, this book has startling implications for health care in America! What's that? Doctors actually perform procedures for mOney or convenience and not because it is best for the patient?! No!
4. Taking charge of your fertility. How many people actually understand the dynamics of a Woman's cycle. Men should read this too!
5. The China Study by Colin Campbell. Re-think everything you think you know about nutrition!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Things to read Thursday #3
Theme: Rhyme Time
We love nursery rhymes over here, and Dr. Suess is, of course, a big hit (although I made the mistake of checking out Hunches in Bunches once. Oh, how I despised that book, and of course DD1 loved it!)
Anyway, here are my top pics for fun picture books for the kiddies:
1. One fish, Two fish, red fish, blue fish, by Dr. Suess.
2. There was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Boot by Linda Smith, illustrated by Jane Manning
3. Tomie DePaola's Baa Baa Black Sheep. Both of my girls love this one, and I enjoy his illustrations. He has a great book about popcorn, but I'll save that for another post.
4. Anything by Jack Prelutsky or X.J.Kennedy. Great kid's poets!
Personally, I am a huge fan of Emily Dickinson, so I reccommend any of her poetry!
And here's a great Sci-Fi for young adults and older:
The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer. I LOVE this book. That's all I will say because you should just read it!
We love nursery rhymes over here, and Dr. Suess is, of course, a big hit (although I made the mistake of checking out Hunches in Bunches once. Oh, how I despised that book, and of course DD1 loved it!)
Anyway, here are my top pics for fun picture books for the kiddies:
1. One fish, Two fish, red fish, blue fish, by Dr. Suess.
2. There was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Boot by Linda Smith, illustrated by Jane Manning
3. Tomie DePaola's Baa Baa Black Sheep. Both of my girls love this one, and I enjoy his illustrations. He has a great book about popcorn, but I'll save that for another post.
4. Anything by Jack Prelutsky or X.J.Kennedy. Great kid's poets!
Personally, I am a huge fan of Emily Dickinson, so I reccommend any of her poetry!
And here's a great Sci-Fi for young adults and older:
The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer. I LOVE this book. That's all I will say because you should just read it!
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